poops like jagger

im having recurring dreams that end with me falling into some kind of water speaking of dreams im going to sleep now im not gonna bother watching another

goodnight

buttgenie:

last night i dreamed that my armpit hair was longer than my arm so i glued it together and i made wings out of them and i flew into the moon. after i landed in a crater it was my duty to dig until i found water. i thought i’d found water but it was actually lava and i fell in and died and i woke up so long story short i’m not eating chili before bed ever again

adnrewscott:

WHAT IF ONE DAY YOU WERE GONNA USE THE TOILET AND YOU OPENED THE LID AND THOUSANDS OF TINY SONICS FLEW AT YOUR FACE AT ONCE SINGING “GOTTA GO FASTER FASTER FASTERFASTERFASTER” ALL SLIGHTLY OUT OF SYNC WITH EACH OTHER

our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us and lead us not into temptation amen ((now load you son of bitch video))

frigerator:

the worst things

  • pooping and realizing you don’t have toilet paper
  • showering and realizing you forgot towels

ok lets try the our father and ill probably get to watch episode 8

the-nameless-one:

A young Ketan stands in his bedroom.

the-nameless-one:

A young Ketan stands in his bedroom.

IT LOADED THAT TIME OH MY FUCKING GOD

ok maybe it’ll load now

HOLY MARYB MOTHER OF GOD PRSY FOR US SINNERS NOW AND AT THE GOUR OF OUR DEATH. AMEN